I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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