Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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