my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
