i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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