he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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