Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
