Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
