I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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