just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
