This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
