Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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