i was rollin on her like bob the builder
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
