i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
