i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
