Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Found the puke drawer
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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