worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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