At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
