Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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