ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
