I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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