Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
jump out the window naked night went bad
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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