So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
