Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
