i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
