There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
