roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
