can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
