Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
