I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
