I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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