we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
