HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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