A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
