can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
