Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
