Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
