Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
