I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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