No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
