I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
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