I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
