Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
