Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
