Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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