Christians are straight up FREAKS
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
