I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
