nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
