last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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