Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
