I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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