I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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