He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
