ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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