I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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